Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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