So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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