Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
