and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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