Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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