I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
