We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
