So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
