yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
