Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
