I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Houston, we have a squirter
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
