Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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