Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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