You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
