when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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