i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
