You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
