I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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