dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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