you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
