i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
