I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize