We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize