idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
