Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
