if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
