We need to rekindle our bromance
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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