Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
