Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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