So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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