I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
