but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
