I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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