Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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