Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
