He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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