Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
