I just saw a hot homeless man
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize