hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
