Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
