When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
