just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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