just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
