Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
