barbara walters just said penis...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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