im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My life is pants optional.
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