dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
4 words: hood of his car
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
