I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You took a bar mat shot.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
