Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
