You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
