oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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