The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
