did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
