I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
