I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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