I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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