You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Help. Why am I so naked?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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