Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
