are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
