what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
