I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
