i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
