Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
