Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
