is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
