...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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