in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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