I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
