VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
