it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
