fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
