Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
