I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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