We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
