I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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