ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
